This is probably one of
life's most frustrating challenges.
For
some this challenge resolves early in life, meeting someone at
school or work. For many, the frustration increases with each passing
year. Often the environment at work or home can be
isolating, further decreasing the probability of meeting
someone.
These
days people often marry later. As we get older there are often fewer opportunities to meet
someone. We often become more defined and less flexible in
our interests and more rigid in our expectations. Time may be running
out to have a family.
Society
has devised various solutions:
1
- Arranged marriages - mostly abandoned in non-Western cultures
2
- The "blind date" - arranged by a mutual friend
3
- Match-making services
4
- Computer Match - "Match.com, e-Harmony, and many others, often
catering to special demographics
5
- Various "singles" groups held at churches and in the
community at large and...speed dating!
Many
times these efforts at bringing people together fail - for various reasons:
1
- Falsifying the "resume"
2
- Unrealistic expectations
3
- Family pressures
4
- Psychological issues - e.g. difficulty with intimacy, over-dependency,
problems separating from family
5
- Personality issues making it difficult to "get along" with another
person
6
- Other psychiatric issues, such as depression, anxiety disorders, OCD, and
substance abuse
So
What is Left to Do?
After
months (years?) without success, try the following:
Consult
a therapist or life coach re: "unrealistic expectations,"
psychological issues, self-sabotge
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